Post-Equinox

For the first time in a long time, I can't wait for winter. I don't know if it's my advancing age or living here in the north amongst the wilderness and hippies, but I'm getting that whole "in-tune-with-the-seasons" thing going.

This summer was a little exhausting. I really should be smacked for saying that, since I didn't work until August, but it just felt really hectic. And then once I did start working, it felt like Kevin and I were always, always busy. We'd plan on a stay-at-home weekend, then something would come up here, another thing would come up there, and before we knew it our schedule was full. Don't get me wrong, we had fun and I'm so, so glad we have made so many wonderful friends up here, but I am dying for a quiet, snowed-in weekend, just us and some movies and craft projects.

Work is going well, I suppose. I'm starting to get IVs down, although today I tried to start an IV on someone who apparently has concrete coating his veins. When I finally gave up and pulled out the catheter (the needle doesn't stay in, it's just to get through the skin and hopefully the vein), there was no blood on it and it looked like I had jammed it into the wall. Mad skills, yo. But my success rate is slowly improving. I'm trying to keep telling myself to give myself a year to get comfortable in my job--I'm a new nurse, it's a tough specialty--but I'm not great about being patient with myself. I do my chemo certification at the end of the month and once I start doing chemo as well, I'm sure my comfort level will plummet again. But I've got great teachers working with me.

I'll switch to part-time once I'm done training, probably some time in November. It will be awesome to get that extra time back, especially as we start working on the house, but I'm worried about the drop in income. My full-time nurse's paycheck has been pretty nice. But we'll manage. We know how to live poor, and it's only uphill from there. And Kevin has a fantastic job that he absolutely loves, working for a really great guy who builds and restores fine wooden boats. So we're pretty solid, all in all.

I know this is incredibly sappy and unlike me, but I often kind of marvel at how lucky we've been, to move up to this little economically depressed town in rural northern Wisconsin and both find really good jobs right out of school. I think we're definitely home, our little family with our dog and cats. Especially doing what I do, I know that lightning can strike any time and the odds are decent that someday, hopefully a long time from now, it will. But right here and right now, we're happy. Perfection? No, but for now it's pretty damn good.

Cobwebs? What cobwebs?

I'm pretty sure any readers I did have gave up long ago. I can't blame them, seeing as how this blog has been left all forlorn and outdated. It's like the online, self-indulgent version of a foreclosed house with nests of squirrels in the rumpus room, or possibly Eden Prairie Center, circa 1996--I hear it's been somewhat revitalized now, though.

I won't even pretend that I've been busy. I've been a freaking housewife for the last two months. Not a bad gig, really, save for the humiliating poverty and the guilt of watching Kevin commute 45 minutes each way to work a stressful job with crappy pay. But hey, he hasn't had to vacuum or wash dishes in two months, so it's been a tradeoff for him.

Somehow, in the midst of all of my floor-scrubbing and laundry--okay, and gardening, reading, developing a half-assed workout regime, and dicking around on the Internet--I found time to attend graduation ceremonies, study for and pass boards to get my RN license, and, oh yeah, GET A JOB THAT USES MY DEGREE!!!

A big part of me didn't think it would really happen, at least not this quickly. But it did, it totally did, and I'm so excited. Actually, getting this job is a big honor and I'm really lucky in a lot of ways. It's here in town, which in and of itself is huge--I was prepared to have to commute to Duluth, which would have sucked a whole lot. I will be working at the cancer center, a satellite clinic of a large Duluth-based medical center. Among other things, this means that I will get really good at starting IVs. I will also be working straight days, no weekends, no holidays; this is practically unheard of in nursing. And, best of all, I get to develop relationships with my patients and play an important role in their treatments and, hopefully, remission. I start in two weeks.

Not everything has been sunshine and butterflies. A friend died in April. I lost a friend, my wonderful friend and mentor lost the love of her life, and the community lost an incredible leader. It's been hard and we all miss him a great deal. He was one of those people who truly inspires you to be a better person, and everyone who knew him is a million times better for it. He was very involved in our doula group--not as a doula, but in the role he played for so many of us, as a spiritual and cultural adviser. Our doula group is also incredible, and we have been able to support each other through it (especially the people that particularly feel the loss), remember and honor him, and will continue to do so.

That was the big one, but there are always little things that keep everything from being perfect. Despite that, I am ridiculously happy right now. I have a kick-ass husband, really great friends, gainful employment, an awesome family, and I get to live in this gorgeous area where I can see the big lake every day. Because I'm me, a little part of me is wondering when the shoe's going to drop. But I was talking to a friend today and mentioned this, and she very wisely told me, "Yeah, I think it's inevitable to feel that way. But all you can do is enjoy it while it lasts." So I will.

Boo, you sumbitch.

So a lot of people think redneck when they think northern Wisconsin. It's an unfair and unfortunate word association, and I know an awful lot of very awesome people here in town that do not have even the slightest redneck tendencies. However, you can always find someone in any demographic who is just chomping at the bit to confirm any negative stereotypes, and I have to say that while Ashland wouldn't qualify for the title of Home of the Good Ol' Boy, we're not exactly short on the Yeehaw People. Example: Kevin goes to school with someone who served in Iraq, who uses the very offensive term "hajji" at least twice a day, among other racist slurs, who thought it would be the height of comedy gold to dress up as a suicide bomber for Halloween. Even better, he won a prize, voted by other students, for that costume. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Rescue 911

One of my favorite things about living here is the police report printed nearly every day in the local paper. It is awesome. A sampling from the past week:

Thursday, 11:23 am Report of horses loose on golf course, causing damage 12:43 pm Report of a patron who entered a restaurant, had two cocktails and then "went crazy." 4:00 pm Seven 911 calls received from a coin phone - kids at a hunter's safety course were making crank calls.
Friday, 9:42 am Report of horses at golf course again 3:31 pm Caller states someone threw spoiled meat into the fenced-in yard 6:08 pm Cell phone call received regarding three large pigs and a goat heading down the road toward Washburn 7:58 pm Report of females fighting at carnival
Saturday 10:40 pm Vehicle collision with bear
Sunday 5:50 pm Caller states neighbor has again thrown rotten meat on his fence.

So to sum up, around here, some people can't control their livestock (unless they're sending it in to town on errands, which I suppose is always a possibility), dispose of their rotten meat by chucking it onto the neighbors property, can't hold their liquor without going crazy or fighting next to the Tilt-A-Whirl, and the kids spend the time they should be learning about the safe handling of firearms making crank 911 calls.

The police reports are a highlight of my day.

Lesson 1: "Stethoscope" does not have an "a" in it

Wow, nursing school is hard. It may just be an associate degree, but I'm already putting in waaaay more work than I was while in school for a PhD, even before I abandoned it. I do like it, which is a good thing because I wouldn't have a lot of options if I hated it. Clinicals start next week and I'm nervous. I don't have to walk in there Thursday morning and start an IV or anything, but it's still nervewracking.

Kevin started school too, for the only marine repair program in the state, and it's kind of nice for both of us to be in school at the same time. We have similar schedules and can encourage each other instead of getting resentful that someone always has to be studying when the other person wants to go out or something. Not that we can afford to go out.

Living with my parents has been an adjustment and it's not always easy, but we wouldn't be able to do any of this otherwise. They've helped us out enormously, and although I would really really rather not have to be relying on my parents at the age of 32, it is what it is. We're extremely lucky to have their help.

And, yeah, I love Ashland. It's great living up here. There are some really nice beaches and we've been swimming several times since we got here, though I think the beach weather might be over for the year. Lake Superior isn't what you'd call warm even in the height of summer. We've also been blueberry picking and went to the Bayfield County fair, so I feel fairly confident that we're getting the full northern Wisconsin small-town experience.

Arriving

Moving blows. My expectations of gross incompetence from the U-Haul corporation were more than realized, my knee feels like it's facing backward, everything took much longer and was more grueling than expected.

However.

We now live in an extremely cool great big old house with sunlight and air movement and everything, the weather is gorgeous, the lake is stunning and it's a five-minute walk down to the shore, and we've already gotten to watch two amazing sunsets over Lake Superior. All in all, we're coming out ahead so far.

Leaving

Eight days until we move. I guess the insomnia portion of the stress must be setting in, as I've been awake for an hour and yawning like crazy, but as soon as I lay (lie? that particular word's never been one of my strong points) down I'm wide awake.

All things considered, we're actually in pretty good shape for the move. We're probably about 80-85% packed, the house in Ashland is ready for us, and we've got the next week pretty well planned out. But because I am a congenital worrier, I'm not relaxing. For one thing, I'm afraid there won't be a truck for us when we go to pick it up. We're renting a U-Haul, because we don't really have any other decent options, and they tend to do their U-Haul thing, which is to not have the truck you reserved and then just kind of shrug and pretty much tell you to go pound sand when you ask why the hell they bother with reservations and do they think people just rent these things on a whim, like "Oh, let's rent a U-Haul and circle Madison 6 times on Sunday; it's supposed to be a beautiful day," and what the fuck do they expect you to do now? I'm hoping that doesn't happen.

Also, I'm thinking about how different it will be to live up there. We're going from a city with a population of about 220,000 to a town of 8000, in close proximity to bears and wolves and fishing boats and a lot of forest. Kevin doesn't like it here in Madison, but I kind of do. Not enough to talk him into staying, or even necessarily to want to stay here permanently myself, but it's a nice place to live.

I'll miss the farmer's market, which is the best of any I've ever seen. I'll miss Glass Nickel pizza and Lazy Jane's scones, and the Tex Tubb's taco palace, and sushi, just in general. I'll miss Mickey's Tavern, the Crystal Corner, the Paradise. I'll really miss Em and Corey and Ike.

I will not miss the co-op, where everything tastes like self-righteousness. I won't miss traffic or spending 20 minutes in the car to get halfway across town--20 minutes in the car in Ashland will put you 2 towns over. I won't miss the crowds at the farmer's market, which make it like a weekly excursion to a Ukrainian bread line. I won't miss the undergrads, or the freaking Badger games in the fall. I really won't miss the heat and humidity.

I have high hopes for Ashland. I wonder if moving somewhere with the idea of permanence makes a difference in how well it turns out. I guess we'll find out.