New Beginnings, Etc.

I was looking forward to January for several months. I thought, "Oh, January. The deep, cold, heart of winter. It will be the perfect time to relax, hunker down, and stop running around all the time like a damn crazy person." Yeah, not so much. January has been hectic as all hell. This hasn't been an entirely bad thing, but it has not been relaxing in any way, shape, or form.

First off, I am not pregnant. This is okay, for now. In all honesty, the timing ended up not being great for a pregnancy (more on that in a minute) and we're going to give it a few months before trying again. I'm not going to lie, we were a little sad about it, but I think we'll be in a better place later on in the spring. Plus, if I wait a couple of months, I'll qualify for paid maternity leave, an awesome fringe benefit of my wonderful new job.

And thus begins the tale of why January has been so hectic. Last Monday, I started my new job as Maternal-Child Health Nurse at the tribal health clinic where I interned the summer of 2009. This has truly been a dream come true, and I still can't quite believe I got this job. During my internship, the MCH Nurse at the time was my mentor, and I fell in love with the work as well as the community. She was leaving her position that fall, but I had another year of school left. We briefly talked about me applying as a LPN, but it wouldn't really have been workable with school, even if the clinic had been willing to hire a LPN for the position. Someone else, someone with a really great resume and background, got the job, and I told myself I would just have to try to come back once I finished a midwifery program. There generally isn't a lot of turnover for that position, so I figured it wouldn't open up again for quite some time.

My internship mentor and I had become very good friends, and we always talked about how great it would be to work together again someday. She finished up her own school this spring and is now a nurse-midwife, and had gone back to the clinic to head up a new MCH department. I thought and hoped that maybe someday we could work together in a midwifery practice for the tribe. Then she called me at the end of November and said that the MCH Nurse had submitted her resignation. I got my application in as soon as I could, and wrote the most gushing cover letter I have every written. I knew that I didn't have the work experience to wow anyone, but I did have the passion and desire to be doing that work specifically, in that community specifically, and I told them so. I interviewed on January 3rd and was offered the position the next day.

So I've been there a week, and I could not be happier. I still don't have a phone or a computer, but I'm also still orienting, so that's okay. The staff is wonderful and I share an office with my friend, who is also now my supervisor (and I realize that's not always ideal, but we are both talkers with a similar vision for the program, and I am more than aware that she's a brilliant person with a lot of respect in the community and many years of experience doing my job, so I'm happy to take direction from her). It's a 40-minute commute, but I'm not exactly sitting on I-94--my drive to work takes me up the Bayfield peninsula and it's gorgeous. I get to go to trainings and conferences--I'm going to the International Conference on Indigenous Children's Health in Vancouver in March--and meet all kinds of intelligent people doing incredible work. Like I said, I still can't quite believe I got this job.

Several years ago, I went a long time struggling to find any job that I could actually live on, let alone one I actually wanted. I liked my job at the Cancer Center, but it wasn't my dream. If anyone had told me four years ago that I would be in this position, I would have found it hard to believe. I don't know that I'll ever be able to take this for granted now. I hope not.

Cobwebs? What cobwebs?

I'm pretty sure any readers I did have gave up long ago. I can't blame them, seeing as how this blog has been left all forlorn and outdated. It's like the online, self-indulgent version of a foreclosed house with nests of squirrels in the rumpus room, or possibly Eden Prairie Center, circa 1996--I hear it's been somewhat revitalized now, though.

I won't even pretend that I've been busy. I've been a freaking housewife for the last two months. Not a bad gig, really, save for the humiliating poverty and the guilt of watching Kevin commute 45 minutes each way to work a stressful job with crappy pay. But hey, he hasn't had to vacuum or wash dishes in two months, so it's been a tradeoff for him.

Somehow, in the midst of all of my floor-scrubbing and laundry--okay, and gardening, reading, developing a half-assed workout regime, and dicking around on the Internet--I found time to attend graduation ceremonies, study for and pass boards to get my RN license, and, oh yeah, GET A JOB THAT USES MY DEGREE!!!

A big part of me didn't think it would really happen, at least not this quickly. But it did, it totally did, and I'm so excited. Actually, getting this job is a big honor and I'm really lucky in a lot of ways. It's here in town, which in and of itself is huge--I was prepared to have to commute to Duluth, which would have sucked a whole lot. I will be working at the cancer center, a satellite clinic of a large Duluth-based medical center. Among other things, this means that I will get really good at starting IVs. I will also be working straight days, no weekends, no holidays; this is practically unheard of in nursing. And, best of all, I get to develop relationships with my patients and play an important role in their treatments and, hopefully, remission. I start in two weeks.

Not everything has been sunshine and butterflies. A friend died in April. I lost a friend, my wonderful friend and mentor lost the love of her life, and the community lost an incredible leader. It's been hard and we all miss him a great deal. He was one of those people who truly inspires you to be a better person, and everyone who knew him is a million times better for it. He was very involved in our doula group--not as a doula, but in the role he played for so many of us, as a spiritual and cultural adviser. Our doula group is also incredible, and we have been able to support each other through it (especially the people that particularly feel the loss), remember and honor him, and will continue to do so.

That was the big one, but there are always little things that keep everything from being perfect. Despite that, I am ridiculously happy right now. I have a kick-ass husband, really great friends, gainful employment, an awesome family, and I get to live in this gorgeous area where I can see the big lake every day. Because I'm me, a little part of me is wondering when the shoe's going to drop. But I was talking to a friend today and mentioned this, and she very wisely told me, "Yeah, I think it's inevitable to feel that way. But all you can do is enjoy it while it lasts." So I will.

Hot DAMN!

I was informed today that I got the summer internship that I desperately wanted. I was getting all set for disappointment, because that's what usually happens, then, wham, one cheery phone call from Madison later and I'm all set up. It's an amazing internship, as seen below in bulletpoints.

• maternal/child public health at the reservation clinic
  
• working with a photography project on parental support systems
  
• a super-cool mentor
  
• paid

I'm so excited, I may wet myself. Lord knows how I'll hold out for the next two months before it starts.