I'm a little cranky this morning.

Things that irk me:
1. People who lecture others on subjects they have only the thinnest understanding of. Please, know your subject matter before you start expounding. Or at least admit that you only know a little bit about it and be willing to recognize you may be wrong. And no, I'm not just talking about Sarah Palin this time, although she could use someone with her at all times to whisper "Psst, shut the fuck up, you sound like a moron," when, say, she starts telling third graders that the vice president is in charge of the Senate and gets to make policy. For example.

2. Similar vein, different approach, people who act all snippy and annoyed when working with or training in someone who has no prior experience in whatever it is they're doing, because the trainee does not have an inherent expertise. Thursday night, my second night at work, I had a woman, we'll call her Broomhilda, training me. She seemed to think that "training" consists of rolling her eyes when told I had never done this kind of work before, telling me she did not have time to explain why she did certain things (then, later, saying "Ask if you have a question, I'm not going to bite your head off." I composed a lengthy and expletive-laden response to this obvious lie, but bit my tongue), talking to me like I was a drooling idiot, and essentially treating me like shit for eight hours. It was a lot of fun and excellent for my self-confidence. When, against every instinct and desire in my body, I dragged myself back to work last night, I was told that this is how Broomhilda treats almost everyone, which made me feel slightly better.

3. Tom Brokaw. I just can't stand his voice or his tiny, tiny eyes.

4. Undecided voters. If you can't make a decision between Obama and McCain, two people who are VERY VERY different, 9 days before the election, I kind of have to wonder who holds your gum for you while you walk.

I started a new part-time job at a nursing home last night. It's a really great facility and the staff is excellent and everyone there is very well cared for. But I still hope I, and everyone I love, is healthy and fit and independent until they just drop dead at ninety or so. Being confronted with your own mortality isn't hard at all in comparison to being confronted with the possibility of your total dependence and loss of everything you are. It's one of my biggest fears.

Rescue 911

One of my favorite things about living here is the police report printed nearly every day in the local paper. It is awesome. A sampling from the past week:

Thursday, 11:23 am Report of horses loose on golf course, causing damage 12:43 pm Report of a patron who entered a restaurant, had two cocktails and then "went crazy." 4:00 pm Seven 911 calls received from a coin phone - kids at a hunter's safety course were making crank calls.
Friday, 9:42 am Report of horses at golf course again 3:31 pm Caller states someone threw spoiled meat into the fenced-in yard 6:08 pm Cell phone call received regarding three large pigs and a goat heading down the road toward Washburn 7:58 pm Report of females fighting at carnival
Saturday 10:40 pm Vehicle collision with bear
Sunday 5:50 pm Caller states neighbor has again thrown rotten meat on his fence.

So to sum up, around here, some people can't control their livestock (unless they're sending it in to town on errands, which I suppose is always a possibility), dispose of their rotten meat by chucking it onto the neighbors property, can't hold their liquor without going crazy or fighting next to the Tilt-A-Whirl, and the kids spend the time they should be learning about the safe handling of firearms making crank 911 calls.

The police reports are a highlight of my day.

A Few Things for Your Monday

1. My current profile picture is of a truck that was parked at the County Market the other day. It takes all kinds.

2. We went hiking on Saturday and did not see a bear. We saw bear poop, though, which is better because it can't maul you to death. We also heard something big moving in the woods but did not stick around to see what it was.

3. Things are getting all Depression-y and scary. If we had any money, we'd be keeping it under the floorboards. But apparently, what we really need to be worried about is a former sixties-radical-turned-law-professor and the fact that Barack Obama met him/spoke to him once or twice a decade or so ago. Cause that's the real threat to the American way of life, doncha know.

4. Relative to #3, I registered to vote today. If you haven't already done so, you should do it now. And remember, you're not voting for the PTA president or a new member of your book club, you're voting for the President of the United States, and it's okay, in fact it's more than okay, if the President of the United States is highly educated and intellectual and maybe even a bit of an elitist, as long as they still understand what the middle class and those living in poverty need. You don't have to sit next to the President at a dinner party, this isn't a vote for Homecoming Queen. It's not okay if the President of the United States is a smug, smirking ignoramus whose best argument for election is that "She's just like you!" And yeah, yeah, yeah, she's only the VP candidate. I hate to get all morbid, and I certainly don't wish anyone ill, but google the statistics on melanoma. If they're elected, the odds are very good that Palin will wind up as President, the thought of which is enough to keep a body up nights. Thought Bush was bad? Meet Bush Light.

International Relations 101,

Or, I have to put my very expensive education to some use, even if it's only in a blog read by approximately no one.

Ahem. Diplomacy is a political tool, used for centuries, involving talking to people with whom you disagree. If you agree with them, you don't need to have diplomatic negotiations. You can just have a state dinner and call it a day. This whole idea that it's the height of absurdity to suggest sitting down for talks with Iran or North Korea or Syria because they're just so hard to get along with is the most ignorant thing I have heard in a long time. I'm not quite sure how it came to be accepted as God's truth by so many people.

Apple Polisher

When we started this semester, there was a huge amount of information, foreign to just about all of us new students, being thrown at us. Everyone in my class had a pretty much continuous slightly glazed, panicked expression. The instructor assured us it would all start to drop into place, and damn if she wasn't right. Now, six weeks in, it's starting to fit together and it's a really good feeling. I've always enjoyed school and this is no exception. Plus I've discovered that I really really like pharmacology--I had no idea it was so interesting. Wow, I'm getting even dorkier as I get older.

This weekend is Apple Fest in Bayfield, but I don't think I can take the crowds. 75,000 people packed into a town with a population of under 1000 is ridiculous. I'm not going unless they allow cattle prods.