Holiday "Cooking" with Sandra Lee

I'm not much of a Food Network follower. When I watch TV, it's usually something like The Daily Show or Colbert Report, or else Man vs. Wild, because Bear Grylls has been showing an increasing tendency to strip down and that's just damn good TV. But I've been hearing about this Sandra Lee character and the hideous concoctions she tries to foist on the American public, and I just had to check out her website.

I give you Holiday Wreath Cupcakes, which feature store-bought chocolate cupcakes or muffins, cherry pie filling, peppermint frosting, and green fruit roll-up. They probably taste absolutely delicious after 6 or 7 Sugar Plum Fairies, presuming one hasn't choked on the gumdrop garnishes. "Nauseating" doesn't even begin to describe these abominations.

Sandra Lee recipes. When you want to tell your guests to get the hell out without saying a word.