Forget April, what do June showers bring?

This has been a shit day.

I have to say that I really do love my friends and I think that it's wonderful when we get together with them and their families. However, I'm not so much up for being the only people without kids at these gatherings and continuing to feel freakish and uncomfortable due to our sub-par reproductive systems. I don't think I want to do it anymore, at least until I'm pregnant or come to some sort of zen-like acceptance of and peace with the situation. And neither of those will be happening in anything resembling the near future.

We were not able to stay at the childrens birthday party and feel awkward for very long, though, because I had to come home to get ready for a wake this evening. The mother of one of my co-workers died this week. I only knew her a little bit, but god she was a cool woman. She was so passionate and involved in her community and the tribe, and unbelievably kind to everyone, but she also had a wild, mischievous streak. She had this huge laugh and a brilliant smile, and was in general a complete knockout. She was 51 years old and had so much left to do and give. She had a lot of pain at the end, and as she was a traditional woman, her family is taking comfort in knowing that she's with her Creator and free from her pain, but that doesn't mean it doesn't suck.

This has been a pretty crappy spring all around, for a lot of people I know. The solstice is Tuesday. Maybe summer will bring a little more light.