Cognitive dissonance

I went out with some friends from school last night. We were supposed to see some band called Shotgun Betsy, which was supposed to be three women who do Hank III covers and such. But it was the wrong night and apparently the band is three dudes, not women. So we sat in the bar and drank beer and played Bonnie Tyler and Pat Benatar on the jukebox. It probably ended up being a better time than it would have been had the band been playing, because my friends are a lot of fun and interesting to talk to and one of the reasons I like school so much. Still, when they mentioned a party tonight, I said "Eh, I don't know, two nights in a row?"

A few minutes later I said, "If you had told me seven years ago that I would be turning down an invitation to a party on Saturday night to sit at home in my yoga pants and watch TV, I would have told you to fuck off." Yes, I am becoming old and tired. And I'm not sure how I feel about that. On the one hand, I couldn't care less because my lazy hibernation impulse has become an overwhelming force. On the other hand, I miss the days when all I did was go out and all I wanted to do was go out.

On yet another hand, I'm not sure what to think about the fact that the time of my life when I was socializing the most and having the most fun, a time that I remember with a great deal of fondness and nostalgia, was also the most traumatic and tragic time I ever hope to experience. And now that I'm at my most boring, I'm also at my most content. Maybe that's the key.